Smells Like Chicken

Today’s episode of Why’s My Rent So High features Eenie, Meenie, Miney and Mo, all competing for an academy award.

Let’s start with Eenie. She left her apartment with two months of unpaid rent, and she snapped the dials off her stove. Sorry, Eenie, that behavior barely scores you a bit part in a made-for-tv-movie with B-role actors.

Let’s move on to Meenie. He abandoned his apartment, leaving behind everything but his clothes. Want some sliced ham? How about a queen sized bed? Family photos? Dishes? Toiletries? Silverware? Cake mix? Everything you need to host a dinner party and a sleepover! California law forces landlords to store abandoned property for 18 days — does anyone know if that law applies to the sliced ham? Meanie’s antics earn him Best Supporting Actor.

Top billing this week goes to Miney and Mo who left their home with a half an inch of mud on the floor. Closer examination revealed chicken scratches in that mud, and underneath it all, hundreds of square feet of ruined flooring that will cost thousands to fumigate and replace. Lysol, anyone? Miney and Mo left $5,100 in unpaid rent along with a heating lamp, watering dish, chicken feed, and… wait for it… a couple of live chickens — all conveniently located in the family room.

City Boy vs. Chicken

The upside? Watching my husband and our friend capture those chickens was entertaining. And the chickens are now enjoying a happier life.

Outside. On a farm.

Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo. They're why rent is so mooch-oh.